Ep. 26: Lit It or Quit It: Bride by Ali Hazelwood

Join Amanda and Kelsey as they navigate the cringe-worthy, smut-filled world of 'Bride' by Ali Hazelwood. Watch Amanda's suffering and Kelsey's laughter as they dissect this controversial romance, complete with knot-ty werewolves and dry humor.

00:00 Welcome to Lit Vibes Only!

01:21 Book Talk  w/ Amanda & Kelsey

07:36 Book Discussion: Bride by Ali Hazelwood

40:06 Final Thoughts and Recommendations

42:30 LITerally the Best or LITerally the Worst

56:27 Wrapping Up and Listener Engagement

Follow us on TikTok & Youtube @litvibesonlypodcast and on Instagram @litvibesonly_podcast. We'd love to hear from you!

See you on Mondays!

Chapters

• 0:00 Welcome to Lit Vibes Only!
• 1:21 Book Talk w/ Amanda & Kelsey
• 7:36 Book Discussion: Bride by Ali Hazelwood
• 41:00 Final Thoughts and Recommendations
• 42:30 LITerally the Best or LITerally the Worst
• 56:27 Wrapping Up and Listener Engagement

Transcript

Ep. 26: Lit It or Quit It: Bride
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[00:00:00] 

[00:00:03] Amanda: Welcome to Lit Vibes Only, where we lit the shit out of books we love and hate. I'm Amanda. And 

[00:00:09] Kelsey: I'm Kelsey and we want to steer you towards our socials to come engage with us, have a blast, enjoy our content, , get to know us a little bit. , you can find us on Instagram at lit vibes, only underscore podcasts and on take talk and YouTube.

[00:00:28] Kelsey: Where we post our full videos, , at lit vibes only podcast. And feel free to email us if you ever want to email us, , your thoughts, your favorite recommendations, anything really, , at lit vibes, only podcast at gmail. com. So we would love to hear from you there. , any of those places, any of those socials, and then also want to remind you that.

[00:00:53] Kelsey: Rating and reviewing a podcast is so helpful and the most effective way for us to get [00:01:00] like better known and get our name out there. So feel free to go do that as well. 

[00:01:06] Amanda: Yes, 

[00:01:06] Kelsey: please. We invite you to. 

[00:01:08] Amanda: Yeah, any of the major podcasting platforms. We would love to hear from you. It takes like two seconds. Goes a long way.

[00:01:13] Amanda: A little goes a long way. Yeah. With the rating and reviewing. So please and thank you. So Kelsey. , as like our Tik Tok, I don't even know what we should, Guru, like you're the one who's like really into book talk and apparently you have something to share with me that, yeah, is going down in book talk right now.

[00:01:33] Kelsey: Well, I told, , Amanda, I was like, well, I think that we should move away from like our chit chat at the very beginning and focus in on like books specifically. , And so let us know what you think of this switch up. , so today I wanted to let you know about, , this woman that's getting a lot of hate on, , take talk because she had a really hot.

[00:01:59] Kelsey: hateful [00:02:00] take around fiction books. Oh, I have 

[00:02:04] Amanda: heard about this. So I believe this 

[00:02:06] Kelsey: creator was named Katie, , and spelled all funky. And, , I just, when I watched her, I finally watched her like original video and like the way that she even like moves her mouth and stuff. It's like so weird. I was like, what is going on with her?

[00:02:20] Kelsey: She's like, you're reading books. And I was like, what? , so yeah, basically, she posted a video, put the hashtag booktalk on it, and then was like I don't understand why people are so, proud of the accomplishments of reading, like, what are you learning? Your books are about dragons. That's my, that's my impression of her.

[00:02:46] Kelsey: Dragons. Yeah. It was so interesting. Your books are about dragons. You're not learning anything. And she goes on and on for like five minutes about this topic. And I was like, wow. Yeah. [00:03:00] And you know, people on. TikTok in general, they do a lot of like, what is it called? Rate, rage bait. , where they invoke a very, like specific mm-hmm . , emotion from you mm-hmm . And then people just like constantly go off . Yeah, exactly. And so like that creator is getting a lot of attention, right. Whether or not it's negative or positive. Right. They're still getting a lot of attention and I, I honestly, I think the rate rage.

[00:03:26] Kelsey: Bait doesn't help a creator in the end because I think that it really just lessens their value essentially Because yeah, I went to her video and it was like there were way fewer likes on the video than there were comments, so it's like people yeah, people are commenting on these videos and her reaction videos to what book talk was saying but like you didn't have to provoke people to like get famous, you know what I mean?

[00:03:55] Kelsey: It's just like you're one. Unless 

[00:03:57] Amanda: she truly is that dense and didn't think [00:04:00] that she was going to like, provoke people. Like, unless she was like, no, this really is a valid argument to make, which it isn't like in any sense of the word. Cause I did watch, I didn't watch the whole thing.

[00:04:10] Amanda: I watched a clip of it that someone had like then responded to. And she was like, yeah, I just, I listened to podcasts and like, Oh yeah. No read. Like whatever, like self help books or something. And she's like, I just don't see the value in fiction. Like, what are you even learning? And I was like, I can't even begin to start to address this statement that you're making because it is just such an ignorant statement. It truly is. Yeah. And there's a reason why as human beings, we've been telling each other's stories since like the dawn of time, 

like 

[00:04:43] Amanda: fiction stories, like fictional stories.

[00:04:45] Amanda: It's a way for us to process. It's a way for us to understand our world and our place in it. It's a way for us to understand relationships and learn how to build our, like, there's so many things. , it's a window into other people's lives and it helps [00:05:00] us build empathy. Like I could literally, we could spend the entire podcast.

[00:05:03] Kelsey: Build your imagination. Like it doesn't have to be, it's not that deep lady. Right. It's, but then also the, the podcast that she referred to, I don't know if you saw it, was in your clip. It was like Joe Rogan's podcast. Oh, okay. Well this explains even more about this woman. It's quite a bit more. Yeah. So it was like, people were just like.

[00:05:24] Kelsey: What? Yeah, I wish like sometimes we could just be like Oh God, , that's a really interesting take move on, you know, I wish sometimes that we could do that. , but yeah, everybody just like it and respond instead of engaging. Yeah. Yeah. Cause that, I think essentially that's what those kinds of people want you to do is they want you to hate on it.

[00:05:45] Kelsey: They want you to have some sort of reaction. Yeah. , they're just trolling people for reaction. Exactly. Yeah, exactly. And so sometimes I just wish that we could just be 

[00:05:53] Amanda: like, Oh yeah, moving 

[00:05:55] Kelsey: on. Yeah. 

[00:05:56] Amanda: They're not even worth my time or consideration at all. [00:06:00] I would also imagine that that statement that she made, I would be curious to know, not really.

[00:06:05] Amanda: Cause she sounds problematic for a variety of reasons, but I'm like, what, how do you define? The word educational, like how do you define what, like what that means to you? It's a solid 

[00:06:14] Kelsey: question. Right? 

[00:06:15] Amanda: Because I think she has a very, very narrow definition of that word. What you think is education is very different from what I believe is education.

[00:06:23] Amanda: Exactly. And all of the different ways of knowing that there are. So, well, I, you know, one more reason why I'm actually glad I don't engage on TikTok that much. I just. Yeah. There are other more useful ways I could be spending my time, but, , thanks for, thanks for keeping us up to date for, for everyone who's not on TikTok.

[00:06:45] Kelsey: It's going to be old news by the time this episode comes out, but you 

[00:06:48] Amanda: know, those of you who 

[00:06:49] Kelsey: remember. 

[00:06:50] Amanda: I think there's also probably like, she is not the only person who has that opinion. Right. Cause there's a level of elitism too that comes into reading. And we've talked about this before [00:07:00] where it's like the types of books you read dictate to others what your level of intelligence is, right?

[00:07:05] Amanda: Like you're just reading like romanticy versus like historical nonfiction, right? You're having somehow less of an experience or less cerebral, whatever. And so I think it ties into that. where there's like this, , minimizing of creative, like you were saying creativity and imagination and just fun. And, , like somehow that holds , less significance than like being educated.

[00:07:31] Amanda: Quote unquote, whatever the heck that means, right? Yeah. So, well, that's actually a really good segue because this

[00:07:43] Kelsey: welcome to the bride episode. 

[00:07:46] Amanda: I might actually have to be like, I don't know what like this book offers anything, but we'll get to that in a moment. So Kelsey, since you chose Bride by Ali Hazelwood for me to read, could you please, please, both for [00:08:00] my just, what's the word? I'm like enlightenment.

[00:08:03] Amanda: And for everyone else's, why did you have me read this book? 

[00:08:08] Kelsey: Okay. So, , we were getting a little too complacent, you know, we were getting, I was fine. We were agreeing so much and we were like, Oh yeah, I could see why this book is so good. And I see your side, Amanda. I see your side, Kelsey. We're patting each other on the back too much.

[00:08:27] Kelsey: And I felt like we needed, , a controversial book that you were going to hate because it's so funny to me. And I think our audience members too, but, but I also really had so much fun with this book and I ate it up and it was so fun to me. And I just was like, I immediately was like, Amanda's going to hate this book.

[00:08:52] Kelsey: I'm going to have her read it. , so those are kind of the reasons why. , yeah. I just had so much fun. Yeah, [00:09:00] definitely. I was sharing the wealth, of course. Oh, you're so thoughtful. And our audience members. 

[00:09:06] Amanda: I mean, I also know from the little bit of like research I've done, this does seem to be 

[00:09:10] Amanda: a well liked book for a lot of folks on like book talk and who are into like fantasy romanticy books. It has a 

[00:09:17] Kelsey: flat 4. 0. I know 

[00:09:21] Amanda: on Goodreads, I am so befuddled by that. , but okay, well then I guess it's time for me, actually, you know what? I went back into our spreadsheet to look at the format for these episodes and technically I We're supposed to do the question first and then the summary.

[00:09:35] Amanda: What question? Lit it? The lit it or quit it question before the summary. Okay. So why don't you ask me first and then I'll get into the summary. 

[00:09:42] Kelsey: Okay. Amanda, was this a lit it or quit it for you? 

[00:09:47] Amanda: , yeah, let's, , quit it for sure. Like if I, I don't think I could quit a book harder, like even worse than Divine Rivals, and if you haven't listened to the Divine Rivals episode.

[00:09:56] Amanda: Please go back and listen to that because it is full of all of [00:10:00] my wrath. , but yeah, I would, I would quit this even harder than divine rivals for sure. So that makes sense.

[00:10:11] Amanda: , Kelsey was 100 percent correct in her assumption that I would hate this book, so well done, I guess. , I just know your taste so well. Yes, you do. You know me so well. All right, let's, let's jump into this train wreck of a plot summary. , yeah, so I actually could not figure out. Where this book took place.

[00:10:30] Amanda: I don't know if that was intentional. I, my assumption is that it's somewhere close to the West Coast because at some point in the book, they fly to California and it's like a couple hours flight. So I'm assuming there's somewhere in the West Coast, maybe even up here in the PNW, perhaps, considering there's vampires involved.

[00:10:45] Amanda: , but essentially, this story is about, , this vampire named Misery. And, , she is the daughter of like this very high ranking vampire. And in this world, there are [00:11:00] vampires, there are werewolves, and there are humans. And where Misery lives, the humans and the vampires have like this understanding.

[00:11:12] Amanda: So they kind of live amongst each other to a certain degree. And in order to keep the peace, , one. Child from a high ranking human is sent to live with the vampires for like 10 years and One high ranking vampire child is sent to live with a human so they have like this collateral System set up and that is to ensure that the peace is maintained There is another Section of again.

[00:11:38] Amanda: I don't know where they're living of this region where werewolves. Live And the vampires and the werewolves for sure do not get along. They have like, you know, a centuries long beef with each other. And so they just stay out of each other's way and don't engage at all. And when they do, it typically ends in bloodshed.

[00:11:58] Amanda: So we start [00:12:00] this, this story with misery. She served when she was younger, she served as the collateral for the vampire. So she was sent to live amongst the humans for 10 years. She's now a grown adult. And is, , working as some sort of computer, I don't know, software engineer, something of that nature. She works with computers.

[00:12:17] Amanda: And essentially, she has decided, even though she's a vampire, she's decided to live among the human world. She doesn't really feel at home with a vampire. She doesn't really fully feel at home with the human world, but she prefers it. So she, , disguises her vampire ness and has been living amongst the humans, again, working as like this software engineer.

[00:12:37] Amanda: , one day while she's at work. One of her father's, like, henchmen shows up and is essentially like, Hey, your father has requested your presence. So she is taken back to The Nest, which is like Vampire HQ. And her dad is essentially like, Hey, so, , we've kind of hatched this plan. To [00:13:00] ensure that the vampires continue to be safe.

[00:13:03] Amanda: And, , you're going to essentially be marrying like the head of the werewolves, like one of the alpha males of one of the clans, because the governor who had been governing the humans in this area was voted out of office. There's a new governor coming into office and she is not about the collateral system.

[00:13:24] Amanda: And. Misery's dad is worried that because there's no longer going to be a collateral system, the vampires are going to be perhaps not as protected as they were previously from the humans. And so let's make good with the werewolves, right? So, , Misery. Decides to go along with this arranged marriage for one very important reason, her very good friend, her childhood friend, Serena, who was an orphan and who she grew up with, , while she was serving as this collateral in the human world.

[00:13:55] Amanda: She's gone missing and she doesn't know where she is and she [00:14:00] thinks that the head, like the head of the werewolves, his name is Lowe Moreland. She thinks that he has something to do with Serena's disappearance because she found this scrap of paper. in Serena's apartment that had what appeared to be his initials and last name on a piece of paper.

[00:14:15] Amanda: So she agrees to marry Lowe and kind of head off into werewolf territory, primarily so she can do some like undercover digging and find out if Serena has in fact been kidnapped or perhaps killed by the werewolves. So. Yes. So, the wedding happens, she goes off to werewolf land, and while she's there, like slowly but surely, you know, she like starts to warm up to her new werewolf husband, and she befriends his little, like, I don't know, six year old sister named Anna, and, , of course some of the werewolves are like, WTF?

[00:14:47] Amanda: Why is there a vampire living amongst us? And some of them are just like, whatever. , but basically as the trust between low and misery builds, , he, , [00:15:00] begins to share with her some things that are happening in werewolf land. And essentially. When low became head werewolf, some people were not happy about that because in order for that to happen, he had to kill, he had to kill the old alpha werewolf and there are still some of his followers out and about in werewolf land who are like essentially trying to make things difficult for low and are, you know, launching attacks and, and trying to, , Just create unrest.

[00:15:29] Amanda: , and so essentially misery begins to help low address this issue. And, , they go and visit the old werewolf, the old, I don't even know what to call 'em, old alpha werewolf's mate. Mm-hmm . In California. So that's where the, the plain red comes in and, you know, essentially, , they gee sucks his blood. Oh yeah.

[00:15:52] Amanda: So they, they, they obviously like. Start to have feelings for each other and, and things happen. She sucks his blood. It's a [00:16:00] very erotic thing. It turns them on and they, you know, start to have more and more like, I don't know, sexual encounters with each other. All the while she is again, still looking for Serena.

[00:16:10] Amanda: She ultimately tells low, like as they're going closer together, like, Hey, just so you know, I'm looking for my friend. I think you have something to do with it. Turns out his little sister. Whose name is Ana is actually Liliana Moreland. And she has the same initials as Lowe Moreland, her brother. And, , is in fact the person that Serena was ultimately looking for.

[00:16:31] Amanda: We find out that shocker, Ana is half werewolf, half human, and that if word got out about this half human, half werewolf hybrid, like things could potentially happen, right? Cause that would cause a lot of unrest for multiple reasons. And so. So they're also trying to both protect Anna from the, they don't want folks to find out she's half, half, half and half.

[00:16:55] Amanda: , they , are continuing to look for Serena. And they're also trying to figure out who, , [00:17:00] Anna's human father is. So all of this is kind of happening at the same time. To make a long story short, , at some point, this is such a convoluted story, Lowe and Misery head back to like the human world for a meeting because they're trying to collect intelligence.

[00:17:17] Amanda: , and basically they find out that one of Lowe's right hand men, right hand where Wolf's wolves, , has betrayed him and is working with misery's father, who is a vampire. They have actually, they're the ones who kidnapped Serena Serena has been like, yeah, been tucked away in this attic for like the last three months.

[00:17:44] Amanda: And we find out that Serena. Shocker is also have werewolf half human and, , misery's father wanted to kind of get his hands on her, , again, for multiple reasons. , and there's like a fight at the nest because [00:18:00] like low shows up and misery is there cause misery also gets kidnapped by her father and his henchmen.

[00:18:06] Amanda: It's a bit of a bloodbath, like Lowe and Serena and some other werewolves show up and like kill the vampires. ,, Misery's brother, who I haven't mentioned at all, she has a twin brother. He, , also helps, , he's on Misery's side, he's on Lowe's side. He wants there to be peace between the vampires and the werewolves.

[00:18:21] Amanda: So after all this bloodshed happened, he takes his father's place, is on the council, one of the vampire leaders. , And, , Misery goes back to, to live with Lo, and they kind of have a happily ever after. And that is essentially it in a nutshell, I think. 

[00:18:41] Kelsey: So twisty. 

[00:18:44] Amanda: Oh yes, it was just riveting. This plot just kept me so engaged the entire time.

[00:18:49] Amanda: How 

[00:18:50] Kelsey: long did the book take you? 

[00:18:53] Amanda: To read? Yeah. I think I read it in like, Not straight through, but I think I read it in like two days. 

[00:18:58] Kelsey: Okay. I couldn't [00:19:00] remember cause you had been texting me. 

[00:19:02] Amanda: Yeah. 

[00:19:02] Kelsey: And I was like, was that a few days? I couldn't remember. 

[00:19:06] Amanda: I think I did it in like, yeah, two days because I, I just needed to get, I needed to get through it.

[00:19:10] Amanda: I had, I had to be finished. So yeah, that's it. That's the summary for all of you folks who didn't read it or who read it and you wiped it from your memory because it was horrible. 

[00:19:18] Kelsey: Yay. , so Amanda, let's start with the good. Things that you can appreciate about the book. 

[00:19:31] Amanda: , yeah, so I will say this. I did find, , miseries.

[00:19:37] Amanda: Humor, her dry snarky tone that is like throughout the book. I did find it entertaining at times. And I will say there were a couple of moments that I like laughed out loud at some of the things that she said. So I appreciated like her voice for the most part. Like that is what kept me reading. And I loved her relationship with Anna.

[00:19:57] Amanda: Like. That for me kept [00:20:00] me reading. Like, I just wanted to see them together. As soon as they were on the page, I was like invested. As soon as the scene ended, I was like, okay, I'm done. I don't want to read this anymore. I thought it was really cute. And, , she was just such a great. A great little character, , and that's it, that's all I have to say.

[00:20:14] Amanda: She was, 

[00:20:15] Kelsey: yeah. I really loved their relationship too, it was so cute. It was adorable. What did she call her? Miracy, I think, instead of misery? Oh, really? I don't remember, but yeah, like, Anna just was like this thing that would not go away. Yeah. Like, she's like, leave me alone, child. Yes. And it's 

[00:20:33] Amanda: like, there's these cute scenes where she's like, you know.

[00:20:37] Amanda: So again, Anna is Lowe's little sister. , and yeah, I think, I think she's like six or something. And at one point, she comes into Misery's room and is like, can I braid your hair? And Misery's like, absolutely not. And then it's like two hours later, she's like, my head is full of braids. And so it is cute to see the way that Anna kind of chips away at Misery's very stoic, you know, [00:21:00] apathetic exterior.

[00:21:01] Amanda: , and the way that. Then misery, talks about it. It's very tongue in cheek. And I found that very funny. 

[00:21:08] Kelsey: I laughed a lot throughout this book, just out of like the ridiculousness that it was like, 

[00:21:15] Amanda: okay. It was like a painful. I was like, Oh God,

[00:21:21] Kelsey: for me, it was an enjoyable laugh. Okay. So like. It was like the very beginning and the first thing that he says to her, I think was like, why do you smell this way? Yeah. 

[00:21:35] Amanda: Why the fuck do you smell like this? I was like, you have got to be kidding me. You've got like, it's so many people who have been talking about this book who didn't like it.

[00:21:46] Amanda: were like, this is just like a really bad fanfic. Like this is something that you would just find on any old like fanfic website. Right? So horrible. And apparently this is not what she normally writes. Normally she [00:22:00] writes like 

[00:22:00] Kelsey: romance 

[00:22:01] Amanda: based. Yeah. And like all of her female characters, like a STEM are STEM women, still 

[00:22:06] Kelsey: the woman was, she 

[00:22:08] Amanda: was, but it wasn't like an essential part really of this.

[00:22:10] Amanda: I mean, she does use her coding skills, I guess. But, . And 

[00:22:14] Kelsey: the fact that she's like, intelligent, you know, like drove a lot of the story. Sure. Yeah. . I mean, I 

[00:22:20] Amanda: just, Allie Hazelwood, stay in your lane. Like, this was not it. But back to. Yes. Go back. Back 

[00:22:25] Kelsey: to. That is the moment I knew I was going to love reading this book, was that sentence.

[00:22:32] Kelsey: Because I thought it was so good. so funny. I was like, okay, they're mates that it's because of this. Like, it was so funny. I, Oh, but 

[00:22:40] Amanda: I think like that is honestly when I wrote it down, like, I think one of the things that I hated about the book is that everything was so obvious and that like, there was no, like, I wonder what's going to happen.

[00:22:53] Amanda: Like, it was so clear. They were mates right from the beginning. Like, it's so clear. . It wasn't clear to me though, [00:23:00] which made it more annoying because it was so obvious to everyone else. Like it was like no subtlety to this book. Nothing was hinted at. It was just like, here it is.

[00:23:08] Amanda: Just wait. I think you're really dumb. So here, let me just tell you, tell you everything just in case you don't understand what's about to happen next. And so I felt yeah, I felt like I was being talked down to the entire time. , I don't know. So for me, it was like, Oh, okay, this is going to be predictable.

[00:23:24] Amanda: It was so pretty. Yeah. I don't like predictable books.

[00:23:26] Kelsey: I definitely didn't feel like I was being talked down to, , but a lot of it was predictable. Yes, I do. , but the whole Anna thing, , Like them being half werewolves and her friend being half werewolf. I didn't see that. I didn't 

[00:23:38] Amanda: see that coming either.

[00:23:38] Kelsey: , 

[00:23:38] Kelsey: so that was cool. I, the thing that I most loved about this book was actually getting into the werewolf world and learning about the vampire world. Like, That was actually interesting to me and fun because it was really different and it was very different from the human world and I feel like this was my first like paranormal [00:24:00] romance and, That totally hooked me and I need more.

[00:24:03] Amanda: I just, I disagree. I feel like, and again, I'm not alone in this based on the reviews I read. Like I feel like the world building was for sure lacking and, the lore and the backstory for these two groups of people, like it just wasn't, I didn't think it was like fully fleshed out in a way that made it compelling at all.

[00:24:20] Amanda: Like we got very minimal information. About both groups of people. But 

[00:24:26] Kelsey: the information that we got, I enjoyed. And it was fun to me. Be 

[00:24:30] Amanda: specific. What did you enjoy? Like the fact that their blood was different colors or that he had a fucking knot. Like what was enjoyable? No. 

[00:24:37] Kelsey: No. It was like how the werewolves were more of like a family.

[00:24:41] Kelsey: And then the vampires kind of existed just to exist. And like how they don't get close to each other. And like how she, they never have like romantic relationships. And that's why. Like, her relationship with Anna is, weird at first because she doesn't know how to have [00:25:00] relationships with people.

[00:25:00] Kelsey: Serena was the only person that she had, like, a friendship with. And so that was, like, really interesting to me. I liked that. But 

[00:25:07] Amanda: that doesn't seem that, again, and you read way more,, vampirey, werewolfy stuff than I do. But like, for me, that doesn't seem that different from other werewolf and vampire stories, like, werewolves, because they're wolves, , of course they're clan based and they're based on, like, their pack.

[00:25:21] Amanda: So like, that's not unique to this story. 

[00:25:24] Kelsey: But it's still fun. It doesn't have to be unique. 

[00:25:27] Amanda: Oh, but you were, you were making it like, Oh, this is like what I loved about, like, this is just something I'm like different. I don't think I got it. I'd like to my previous point. this is really obvious stuff.

[00:25:37] Amanda: She seems like someone, and again. This came up multiple times, like, this is someone who clearly doesn't do this kind of genre, sub genre often. And so it felt like she was, again, pulling from all of the surface level tropes from all of these different things and just kind of plugging them into this story.

[00:25:56] Amanda: And for people who I did not mind. Which is, [00:26:00] which is interesting because a lot of people who do like romantic fantasy didn't, didn't like it because of that. They were like, this just seems like, this is not what she normally does. And it showed, like her lack of skill showed. And again, I can't speak to that hugely because I don't read a ton of it, but a lot of people who generally align with you and that they like that genre were like, yeah, this is like not it.

[00:26:21] Amanda: And it was fun to me. Do you know what, , have you heard of Wattpad? Now. Okay, because that came up a bunch in like the reviews of this book and I, I didn't Google it, but I think it's like a, a website for fanfics where people can publish it. So many people compared this story to just something you'd find on Wattpad, like a fanfic for a 13 year old.

[00:26:48] Amanda: , but yeah, I think also for me, this book was a bit triggering because I hated Twilight. And, you know, like, there were just things in it that just were reminiscent of that [00:27:00] horrible endeavor. And I think that's also, what made me, because isn't, yeah, Edward is, like, obsessed with Bella's scent. Yes.

[00:27:11] Amanda: Yeah. And I was like, Oh, this is just calling back. He's a 

[00:27:14] Kelsey: vampire. 

[00:27:15] Amanda: I mean, I know, but still, I was like, Oh, this is just making me think of that. 

[00:27:21] Kelsey: Actually. Yeah. People relate this book to Twilight a lot. 

[00:27:24] Amanda: Oh, for sure. , 

[00:27:25] Kelsey: but yeah, I like it has werewolves, it has vampires, it has humans. 

[00:27:30] Amanda: Yeah, exactly. There's just no, well, I guess there is like interspecies romance because.

[00:27:37] Amanda: , what's his face? What's the werewolf dude's name? 

[00:27:41] Kelsey: Jacob. I'm 

[00:27:41] Amanda: Twyla, thank you. But they don't ever, do they ever get together? 

[00:27:46] Kelsey: No, not , Bella, but he ends up with Renesmee. 

[00:27:50] Amanda: Yeah. Well, yeah, that I knew. But it's like the end 

[00:27:53] Kelsey: of the book. It's not like there's nothing there. It's not a key part of the 

[00:27:56] Amanda: plot.

[00:27:56] Amanda: Yeah. 

[00:27:57] Kelsey: Yeah. , but Edward and Bella [00:28:00] get together. So that's human to vampire romance. Yeah, that's 

[00:28:04] Amanda: true. That's true. I think I just Honestly, the thing about this book, and I already mentioned this to you, is like, this, in my opinion, you can disagree with me, but in my opinion, out of the books that you've had me read so far, that have been like, romanticy, so like, fourth wing, and like, Akatar.

[00:28:25] Amanda: Actually, I think those are the only two romantices. Oh, I guess Divine Rivals. Divine Rivals. 

[00:28:29] Kelsey: Yeah. 

[00:28:29] Amanda: , but Divine Rivals didn't really have any smut in it because it's YA. No, it didn't. Right. So the, the, the two books that you've had me read so far that have smut in it, , prior to this book. In my opinion, had less smut.

[00:28:40] Amanda: Like this book had the most smut out of all of those books. And it has become clear that this level of smut is just too much for me. It's just too much for a man to handle. It's 

[00:28:53] Kelsey: so funny that you say that you said that. And I was like, what? Really? 

[00:28:57] Amanda: Yeah. I [00:29:00] must 

[00:29:00] Kelsey: have read like a lot of Smut in my life.

[00:29:03] Amanda: You're just like acclimated to it. For me, it's still very new. And so I'm hyper aware of it. And I think maybe you weren't counting the scenes where they weren't technically having sex, but they were having like these very erotic moments, like where she's sucking his blood. I'm like this. That's to me that felt very like smutty, even though there was like the actual active sex wasn't happening.

[00:29:21] Amanda: They're both getting turned on and doing other things. and I'm just, it was just, it was too much. And the interspecies thing, it just really made it cringe. It made it 

[00:29:33] Kelsey: so f*cking cringe Kelsey. That was my, this is my only like criticism of the book. Okay. This was my introduction to interspecies, like smut, , romance, and it was a little.

[00:29:50] Kelsey: Too much for me. Oh, okay. Tell us more. Did I not say that to you? Tell us more. No, I was like, okay, I get it. [00:30:00] Can we please stop talking about his knot? It just reminds me of a dog. I don't want to be reminded of a dog. It's so 

[00:30:06] Amanda: disturbing. Because it was interspecies and they were doing these odd things, like sucking each other's blood while they're, like, it came off really

[00:30:15] Amanda: kinky and kind of fetishy and that kind of like, and I know obviously it wasn't, it's just the way they have sex because they're a vampire in our world, but that's how it reads, especially as like a human reading this, which I think. 

[00:30:26] Kelsey: Yeah, I think that's spot on. Yeah. I don't think that there's anything off about saying that.

[00:30:29] Kelsey: Yeah, and so I think that 

[00:30:30] Amanda: also just like threw me even more because I'm like, this, this does nothing for me. And I'm curious for folks who do like really enjoy smut and find it enjoyable or arousing like that. I'm curious if folks have the same response to that.

[00:30:43] Amanda: Does this also really like. Get you going. 

[00:30:46] Kelsey: I think people probably do. With this book, I just want to preface like the whole time, I was just laughing the whole time. And even during these scenes, even when they were sucking each other's blood, I was like, Oh my God, what is [00:31:00] happening?

[00:31:00] Kelsey: And I'd be in bed and I'd be like, Oh my God, what is happening? And Cesario just was like, what is going on? I was just like laughing. And I don't know. It's so ridiculous. Yes, because it is so ridiculous. And that's how I. I enjoyed the book because it was so ridiculous and I did not take anything seriously and it was fun to me.

[00:31:23] Amanda: For me it was just cringe. So then it was just painful. It wasn't like, Oh, I, it's, you know, it reminds me of some people, , cause I know people who. Not very many, but some people who will not watch The Office because they're like, it's so cringe. Like it makes me so uncomfortable. All these socially awkward moments happening.

[00:31:42] Amanda: Like it's not funny. Whereas like, I'm like, no, like I find that so enjoyable. And I think that's where we are on this. Like you were like, Oh my gosh, this is cringe, but in a way that makes me like happy and laugh. And I'm just like, Oh, I just wanted to stop. Make it stop. God, make it stop. 

[00:31:57] Kelsey: , in one, I don't know where I saw [00:32:00] it.

[00:32:00] Kelsey: I think it was a TikTok, but someone said somewhere, or maybe it was Goodreads, like review, they were like, Allie. Dear God, please stop writing smut. You cannot write smut. Yes, I saw that. I saw the review. Just stop, 

[00:32:12] Amanda: please. Yeah, but she's just not good at it. Like, actually, okay. Oh, go ahead, go ahead, go ahead.

[00:32:16] Kelsey: I've never read any of her other books, and she just had a new one come out, , Deep End, I think, and I was gonna try to pick that up and just see, like, the difference. 

Yeah. 

[00:32:26] Kelsey: And whether or not I like her smut writing, but like the dialogue also is just like you said, it was so cringy and you can never see that like in real life.

[00:32:33] Kelsey: And again, I found entertainment from it rather than like uncomfortable cringiness. It was so 

[00:32:42] Amanda: funny to me. Okay, but here's the thing. So I actually, especially for folks who haven't read the book, right? Yeah. I screenshot, a little excerpt from the text. I'm going to read it. Just so folks can get like, I was like looking at, get a [00:33:00] sense of like what I had to suffer through for like over 400 pages.

[00:33:05] Amanda: Okay. Here we go. Tell me and I'll probably laugh. This is them having sex at one point. Okay. Quote. I cling to him like I'd die if he'd let go, desperate for friction. My hips grind against his abs, seeking relief, and when the contact feels good, I need more. More blood. More low. More of the stretching, rocking, taut feeling coasting inside me.

[00:33:28] Amanda: I'm gonna fuck! His voice is a thick, urgent rumble against my ear. Misery, let me A stifled, filthy sound comes out of his throat. He's rock hard and when he lifts me higher, fingers pressed into my ass, trying to thrust against the perfect spot in me, I almost lose contact with his vein. Almost. I let out a plaintive, needy whimper, even as I writhe against his cock.

[00:33:55] Amanda: , Amanda, you seemed really into that. Ha [00:34:00] So awful. And then at some point, I think I texted you this other quote where logos, you're so warm inside. So wet just for my not so poorly written. And if you cannot, if you're not watching this, 

[00:34:20] Kelsey: Oh my God, Oh my God. Oh my God. 

[00:34:23] Amanda: , yeah. And I, guys, there were like listeners, there were literally.

[00:34:28] Amanda: multiple scenes like this, like more than five. Okay. Like I had to sit. Yes. Yes. 

[00:34:36] Kelsey: I'll trust you on that. 

[00:34:37] Amanda: Oh my gosh. It was really, really just horrible. And I, I, I started, I honestly, I don't normally do this with books, but I started skimming some of the erotic scenes. Cause I'm just like, I'm sure I can't, I feel over it.

[00:34:54] Amanda: So bad, but thing that you liked about this [00:35:00] book was that it was ridiculous. Like, it doesn't sound like there was anything like meaningful. 

[00:35:05] Kelsey: No, no, it's purely entertainment. , yeah, I don't, there's nothing to be taken seriously with this book. , yeah, I just, , I enjoyed the 

[00:35:15] Amanda: ride. I enjoyed the ride. Well, clearly so did Misery and Lo.

[00:35:20] Amanda: They really enjoyed the ride as well, which they figured out his not situation. 

[00:35:26] Kelsey: Dear God. 

[00:35:27] Amanda: Yeah. It's the only thing 

[00:35:28] Kelsey: that I was like, yeah, please stop mentioning the not. Yeah. It 

[00:35:31] Amanda: was just. 

[00:35:33] Kelsey: I don't know. 

[00:35:34] Amanda: Yeah. I mean, I really like, I don't have a lot to say about this book because I couldn't really take anything seriously.

[00:35:40] Amanda: I didn't feel invested in it in any meaningful way. It doesn't make any sort of compelling statement about like life or relationships or like society. It's really just like. I mean, again, I agree with a lot of people. I think it reads like a fanfic. Like, I think she was like, Oh, I have this kind [00:36:00] of wonky idea.

[00:36:00] Amanda: Let me get it down on paper. And somehow she got it published because she's Allie Hazelwood. , but yeah, there's not a whole lot here guys. It's just like a lot of spot and not a lot of substance. 

[00:36:10] Kelsey: I'm curious when this was published. , 

[00:36:13] Amanda: Oh, I don't like in the middle 

[00:36:14] Kelsey: of her, like, , like 

[00:36:16] Amanda: at what point 

[00:36:17] Kelsey: was it published in her career?

[00:36:19] Kelsey: Yeah. 

[00:36:20] Amanda: I mean, from what I read, it sounds like she's again, pretty well established with like her STEM romances. So I'm assuming this has come out after she's written quite a few, 

[00:36:30] Kelsey: Okay. Bride was not published in 20. Oh, wait, actually it might've been, was it published in 2024? 

[00:36:36] Amanda: Yeah. It's really, I mean, it's really new because, I mean, that's what it looks like based on what folks were saying. 

[00:36:41] Kelsey: Oh yeah. Her first book is the love hypothesis. 

[00:36:47] Amanda: That I've heard of. Why haven't, Oh, a couple of my friends have read that book.

[00:36:51] Kelsey: Oh, interesting. I 

[00:36:52] Amanda: remember. Yeah. That was her first 

[00:36:54] Kelsey: one. 

[00:36:54] Amanda: When was that? 

[00:36:56] Kelsey: 2021. But she has quite a few [00:37:00] books out. Let me look. One, two, three, four, five. She's just like churning them out 

[00:37:05] Amanda: then. 

[00:37:07] Kelsey: Six. That's 

[00:37:08] Amanda: crazy. 

[00:37:09] Kelsey: Seven, eight, nine. I think Bride might've been the ninth one. And then Not In Love came out last year.

[00:37:18] Kelsey: And then she has a new one out. This just released. 

[00:37:21] Amanda: Well, I mean, if this, if this book is any indication of her writing, it's no wonder that she just churns them out like every six months. Like there's not a whole lot happening here. Yeah. I'm curious. I 

[00:37:30] Kelsey: don't know that I would like her like just romances.

[00:37:34] Amanda: I've heard a lot of people have read the love hypothesis. I think, , 

[00:37:38] Kelsey: I think it's a popular 

[00:37:39] Amanda: one. Yeah, it's very popular. , but again, I haven't read it. Maybe, I mean, you might. Maybe you might like it. 

[00:37:44] Kelsey: Maybe. I don't know. I think I might pick up Deep End, but, I think the colors are attracting me.

[00:37:50] Kelsey: Okay, so, 

[00:37:52] Amanda: Is it another like STEM based romance? 

[00:37:55] Kelsey: Yeah, but it's about swimmers, Competitive diver and ace swimmer, [00:38:00] jump into forbidden waters in this steamy college romance. 

[00:38:04] Amanda: I, I just, I, guys, I'm I don't, I, there is just something deep, deep within me that is like so fully opposed to romances.

[00:38:18] Amanda: I don't know why. Maybe it's because I grew up in a house full of boys and there's some part of me that's just still kind of, I don't know, like a tomboy at heart. And I'm just like, this is just dumb. But again, at the same time, I do love, I do love rom coms. I just watched Kind of Pregnant on Netflix and was like fully into it.

[00:38:35] Amanda: So I don't know. But 

[00:38:36] Kelsey: they rarely have like sex scenes. It's like more about like the relationship and like, yeah, funny and that kind of thing. 

[00:38:44] Amanda: I think that's, yeah, I think it's probably it.

[00:38:45] Amanda: Like, I just don't, we've talked about this. I just don't enjoy reading about people having sex like that. I just don't enjoy it. Yeah. , to each their own. Yeah, exactly. And I, for some reason, I can be more forgiving of like, I'm not judging. I just, I feel like I have more, from me to you is what I [00:39:00] was thinking.

[00:39:01] Amanda: I was like, I don't think I was being bad. Okay. But, , no, I think I'm more forgiving of cheesiness and corniness when it's in. Film format versus like book format. I don't know why yeah I think maybe I just have different expectations because for me to a certain degree like movies and TV shows are just for me or like really mindless I'm like, that's when I turn my brain off and I just want to like consume whereas I do think I'm a bit more I'm expecting to be a bit more like mentally stimulated when I'm reading I think I think that's part of part.

[00:39:33] Amanda: Yes. I think 

[00:39:34] Kelsey: that's very much you. Yeah, I 

[00:39:34] Amanda: think so. And again, I think that's why I enjoy thrillers because there is that I'm like, I have to think and like what's coming next and what does this mean? And like put the pieces together versus other genres. I think that's just, that's just the kind of reader I am.

[00:39:47] Amanda: I like, I like to get a little bit of a mental workout. Yeah. Yeah. Cause it's 

[00:39:53] Kelsey: funny. 

[00:39:53] Amanda: Every reader's valid. You are all welcome here. It's funny cause thrillers are my escapism, right? Like that's [00:40:00] my, I just want to be entertained, but I'm like, I have to think still to some degree.

[00:40:05] Amanda: , yeah. Anyhow, that's what we thought of bride. That's what we thought of bride. I literally have nothing else to say about it. I feel like it's going to be such a short episode because there isn't. Yeah, I'm trying to think. I don't know. She gets her blood bags liver. That was weird. And she likes peanut butter.

[00:40:22] Amanda: Like that whole the peanut butter thing was bizarre. 

[00:40:26] Kelsey: Interesting. , yeah. Well, I had so much fun. Thank you, Allie. 

[00:40:32] Amanda: , Allie, I, I have choice words for you that I cannot say on this podcast. Say whatever you want on this podcast, man. , , okay, well then let's, I don't even think we need to do, do we need to do the final recommendation?

[00:40:45] Amanda: Kelsey, would you recommend this book? 

[00:40:48] Kelsey: I would to someone who likes to read romanticy and just have, , fun. So not to someone 

[00:40:56] Amanda: like me. No, not 

[00:40:57] Kelsey: to someone like Amanda. [00:41:00] 

[00:41:01] Amanda: If you were more of an Amanda, you will hate this book. I would not recommend it. , this is, I have, I gave this book one star and I genuinely, genuinely cannot remember the last time I've given a book one star because 

[00:41:14] Kelsey: even divine rivals, I 

[00:41:15] Amanda: gave two stars.

[00:41:16] Amanda: Like, I have to absolutely hate a book to give it one star because I'm very generous with my stars. And I was like, Oh, for sure. One star feels like too much. If I could just maybe cut this in half. And give it like half a star. I'm cheering over here because like, I feel like I did my job. You did. That's what we're supposed to do.

[00:41:32] Amanda: It's 

[00:41:32] Kelsey: like, we're supposed to hate these books. 

[00:41:33] Amanda: You got, you got a one star review out of me and that has not happened yet. This is the first one star review of any of Kelsey's reads for me. So that is, I guess, an accomplishment. Cause wait, what did you, what did you give Horace? Oh yeah, I Did you give, I Did you not even read it?

[00:41:52] Amanda: not even read it. I said did you not even rate it? Oh, it so I know you read it . I 

[00:41:57] Kelsey: read it. I was like, you made me read it. . [00:42:00] Lemme look real quick. 'cause I, okay. I feel like I. I don't, I don't 

[00:42:05] Amanda: think you gave it one star. I mean, I did. 

[00:42:10] Kelsey: Oh, I gave it two stars. 

[00:42:11] Amanda: Okay. So I haven't had you read a one star book yet. 

[00:42:16] Kelsey: It deserves a one star though.

[00:42:17] Amanda: Honestly, I'm trying to think of a, well, did you give, well, maybe none of this is true. You gave one star. 

[00:42:22] Kelsey: Oh, maybe I didn't rate it, 

[00:42:24] Amanda: but yeah, that book wasn't even didn't even warrant a rating. It was that bad. All right. Well, let's get to the other entertaining part of this episode, which is our literally the best, literally the worst.

[00:42:37] Amanda: , so I've got some stellar one star reviews to read. Let's start with 

[00:42:42] Kelsey: the one star reviews. I'm excited to hear them. 

[00:42:45] Amanda: I'm gonna get the longest one out of the way first, but it's also entertaining. So for listeners, so all of these, , reviews came from Goodreads as always. So our first one star review, , comes from Jayla.

[00:42:57] Amanda: Here we go. Hey, I'm free. [00:43:00] I'm free. Worst experience of my life. Oh my gosh, this book was so bad. Y'all are some liars because why does this book have a four star rating? This literally reads as a Wattpad fanfic written by a 12 year old. Like there is no way that the Allie Hazelwood wrote this garbage. I couldn't even tell you what the plot was, because this book was so boring and so unappealing.

[00:43:26] Amanda: I didn't care for the characters at all, and it didn't help that the world building sucked, which made the book more confusing to follow. Lo and Misery don't even have any romantic interaction until, like, the 23rd chapter of the book, and when they finally crossed that line, I wanted to wash my eyes out with bleach.

[00:43:44] Amanda: Gosh, the smut and the romance was so corny. I just couldn't take it seriously because of the Omegaverse nonsense. Like it was so ridiculous. Lowe literally gave me such an ick. I wanted to throw up during that bath scene. I kid you not. [00:44:00] This is what this man said. You smell like you just came unquote. Yuck.

[00:44:07] Amanda: OMG. Ew. And I need to eat you out. No, you need the electric chair. I hated this book so much. I can't believe I waited over a month for this on Libby just to read this nonsense. It's so, so awful. Like, what is this? This is the worst book I've ever read in my life. And I'm being so, so serious. I have never hated a book more than this.

[00:44:31] Amanda: I think I'm going to stay away from Allie Hazelwood for a while. I cannot stomach another book from her right now. After this monstrosity. Oh, you found 

[00:44:44] Kelsey: you found some kindred. What is it called 

[00:44:48] Amanda: a kindred spirit? Yes. She just articulated everything that I felt so well, so deeply. Oh, thank you, Jayla. 

[00:44:57] Kelsey: Okay, okay, okay, okay.

[00:44:58] Kelsey: , now to the five star [00:45:00] reviews. , I also don't know how to pronounce this name. I'm gonna say Bukit? Bucket. It's not bucket, but it could be, I guess. Anyway, Allie Hazelwood said, sit back and let me cook for you and then served this. Look, I'm not unbiased when it comes to Allie Hazelwood. I love everything she writes, and I'm not surprised that I love this one.

[00:45:21] Kelsey: However, I can honestly say that I've never enjoyed one of her books this much before. I didn't eat, breathe or sleep until I finished this. The mystery, the betrayal, twists and turns, and also slow burn, friendship and found family. She wrote this for me. I mean, you can read it too, but obviously the target audience was me.

[00:45:45] Kelsey: The littlest crumbs of POV was everything. It was like two sentences in every chapter, but they were. Everything. And then she, they leave it with a, Oh, then a quote. You're not a problem, misery. You're a [00:46:00] privilege. Please, please. All I'm begging you, please make this a series. I see what you did in the epilogue and I need that story.

[00:46:10] Amanda: Oh my God. Also, I completely forgot to mention this earlier. It was one other thing I wanted to mention in our discussion. What was the point of those stupid little blurbs at the beginning of every chapter that was like, so for those folks who didn't read it, which don't read it, but if you did, at the beginning of every chapter, there's like, Two or three sentences that apparently is from like Lowe's point of view.

[00:46:38] Amanda: Yes. And they were so pointless and so inane and I just couldn't handle it. And I have two of them here for you. Just so again, you can get a taste. You can get a taste of what I was experiencing. So here's one from, from one chapter. It said, quote, Some nights when he's walking past her door, he has to whisper to himself, Keep going.

[00:46:58] Amanda: Right? That's one. And then the second one is, [00:47:00] quote, he's been having filthy, unspeakable thoughts. He's too tired to keep them at bay. And I'm just like, what is this adding to the story? And what way is this like making me want to read this story more and not chuck my Kindle across my bedroom? I loved them.

[00:47:17] Amanda: They were so funny. Oh, so cringed. Like, Hey, you agree with J. La made me want to wash out my eyes with bleach. , okay. This 

[00:47:27] Kelsey: was a good book. I said, this was an entertaining book and it. 

[00:47:30] Amanda: But it was painful. It was torture. This is not, this is like, if you ever want to get information out of me because I don't know, I'm suddenly working as a spy for the CIA, make me read this book and I will tell you anything you want to hear.

[00:47:43] Amanda: Like literally just make it stop. Okay. Your next one. Next one. This is from Eva. DNF at 40%. Honestly, I could not take it anymore. It was the most boring book I had read from Allie Hazelwood, and I thought [00:48:00] she could do no wrong. Literally, nothing happens in this book. Initially, Misery's dry, dark humor resonated with me, making her both enjoyable and relatable.

[00:48:10] Amanda: Lo, too, was easily likable with his stoic demeanor masking a compassionate heart. However, as the plot progressed, my initial enthusiasm waned. While the story was promising, particularly in its first half, it faltered toward the middle. Excessive info dumping and lengthy inner monologues disrupted the flow, leaving me overwhelmed by the information provided.

[00:48:30] Amanda: It was a lot of telling and not showing. Though misery and low seemed perfect for each other on paper, their chemistry just didn't come through. The connection felt rushed rather than a satisfying slow burn, lacking the depth I anticipated. So yeah, I The one thing that I, I fully agree with Eva about, and I mentioned this earlier, is that I did actually like, again, Misery's, dry, snarky humor, fully enjoyed that, like, I enjoyed her voice as, like, the narrator for this story, but again, I have [00:49:00] nothing else, I have nothing else positive to say.

[00:49:02] Kelsey: Okay. That was actually another thing that I didn't like at the very end was like uncovering all the information all at once. It was like, yeah, it was, I don't know, like 20 pages where you find out everything. And I was like, wait, this is the end. So yeah, I did not appreciate that. , the pacing was not good and they, yeah.

[00:49:23] Kelsey: Okay. From Mimi. Allie Hazelwood put drugs in this book and I can prove it every time low called misery his wife out loud the Serotonin in your body reshaped as little hearts. Oh my oh my god I can feel myself being delusional and I do not care like I don't know what the hell is happening to me But I've lost my last straw My goal is not making you think this story is perfect.

[00:49:50] Kelsey: , because it's simply not. My major complaint, for example, is the length of their marriage of convenience. More has happened in a month that, , these two are married [00:50:00] than in her whole life. But werewolves were by knowledge, big and broad and tall. While vampires are fast and graceful. I didn't make the rules.

[00:50:09] Kelsey: So knock it off with the same guy, different font thing, and try to enjoy something in your life without complaining first. I'm going to push myself even higher and say that bride is her best work so far. And yes, she also deserves a gold star for her bravery and trying a new genre. And I believe that she totally deserves my praise only by looking at the amount of Google research about the subject of nodding.

[00:50:38] Kelsey: Weird and kind of disgusting at first, but with a love declaration in the middle, it made women around the globe giggling at the washing. If you didn't like it, or if you think you probably won't like it, I'm sorry, and I respect your opinion, but the girls that get it, they simply will have the most fun of their life.

[00:50:59] Kelsey: Yeah. Well, I'm [00:51:00] not, 

[00:51:00] Amanda: I'm not part of that number. Hey, 

[00:51:02] Kelsey: Mimi 

[00:51:02] Amanda: gets it. Mimi gets it. Oh, apparently. Well, I'm glad, you know, I, I've said this multiple times. Whenever we're doing reviews for a fantasy book, every single time you read five star reviews for these books, there's always an element of delusion and they always to.

[00:51:18] Amanda: They're like, yes. And they always cop to it. It's like, they're not, they're like, I know I'm delusional. I know I'm, I'm crazy. I know this is like, I'm like, okay, well, as long as you're aware, as long as you're fully aware that like, our love makes no sense. 

[00:51:31] Kelsey: Our love of books as certain books makes no sense, but it just is.

[00:51:34] Kelsey: Yep. 

[00:51:35] Amanda: It's just, it is. And you know, it's, it's, it's what floats your boat. So you don't have to explain it. Cause we'll never understand. Okay. , moving on to my third one. Yeah, this is my third one. Okay. , this is a slightly shorter one by Moon. Allie Hazelwood must pay for her crimes against humanity, werewolves, and above all else, vampires.

[00:51:54] Amanda: This is not, spelled K N O T, this is not a story. [00:52:00] This is a loosely woven narrative of mostly fanfiction. Tropes Hazelwood doesn't understand or truly care enough about to do them justice. This story is filled with plot holes, poor writing, and truly a lack of chemistry between the so called love interests.

[00:52:17] Amanda: It fails as a romance, as a paranormal story, as anything worth spending your time on. The end. 

[00:52:26] Kelsey: Yeah. 

[00:52:26] Amanda: The 

[00:52:26] Kelsey: end. 

[00:52:27] Amanda: The end. Yeah, I, I do feel like she just like, like skimmed the top off of a bunch of tropes and was like, okay, I've got a basic understanding. Let me try and write this and props to her for trying a new genre.

[00:52:37] Amanda: But I feel like if you're going to do it, then do the thing, like do your homework. Don't take a shortcut. And that's what this book felt like. 

[00:52:45] Kelsey: I disagree. I know. I know you do. Okay. From poppy flower. I loved it. Bestie. It was a winner. Not an all. Let me say, let me just say bride by Ailey.

[00:52:58] Kelsey: Ali Hayes wood is an absolute [00:53:00] gem. I've been eagerly awaiting this book and let me tell you, it totally lived up. To the hype from start to finish. It had me hooked and craving for more. The only tiny downside. I need more of Lowe's point of view. Those glimpses at the beginning of each chapter left me yearning for more death.

[00:53:17] Kelsey: But aside from that, as a diehard paranormal romance fan, this book hit all the right notes and instantly secured a place among my favorites looks like I might be entering my rom com phase after all. 

[00:53:31] Amanda: Oh, that's so special. , yeah, those blurbs at the beginning had the opposite effect on me. I was like, I don't want, I don't want to know anything else about what's going on in Lo's head.

[00:53:40] Amanda: That's so disturbing. Okay, last one, , for me, last one star review. This is from someone simply called N, like the letter N. Okay, here we go. It feels like Hazelwood decided to write a paranormal romance book because her publisher urged her to jump on the romanticy popularity train, and the result is a poorly [00:54:00] cobbled together book.

[00:54:01] Amanda: Hazelwood tries hard to stick to her trademark romance formula, but it flails under her underdeveloped world building and uninteresting plot. Worse yet, when her protagonist aren't STEM geeks, they're incredibly dull characters who do nothing except lounge about hoping that days go by so the plot can inch forward.

[00:54:19] Amanda: And since I'm complaining about how dry the characters are, let me bring up the equally boring and repetitive dialogue and awful humor in this book. I cannot overstate how bad it is, which is both surprising and sad because the one thing I could confidently rely on in a Hazelwood novel and which is usually her book saving grace is that it will be funny.

[00:54:38] Amanda: That is not the case here. Unfortunately, like the pun her main character makes with her own name, quote, you are officially condemned to a lifetime of misery. Unquote is an apt description of what you can expect. If you pick this up, I mean, I, I will slightly disagree with this one and that I did find it humorous for the most.[00:55:00] 

[00:55:00] Amanda: But, , everything else I completely agree with, like, and I do like, I feel like, what other book did I say? Oh, I think it was Fourth Wing, where I was basically like, it feels like Rebecca Yarris was like, Ooh, hey, like I need to get in on the romanticy train. So let me like throw some dragons in and then cobble it together with all of the like tropes that are already there.

[00:55:19] Amanda: And voila, I've got a romanticy novel for you. But anyhow, okay, done. Take it away. How dare 

[00:55:25] Kelsey: you speak of fourth wing that way. I 

[00:55:27] Amanda: know. I know. Everyone's going to come for me. I am ready. Come for me. I'm ready. 

[00:55:33] Kelsey: , okay. So this is short and sweet and I don't think I could have written this better. , so last one by Jolie Macado, Macado, Macado.

[00:55:44] Kelsey: I think it's Macado. Okay. All right. Thank you, Jolie. Look, don't ask me why, don't ask me how, I will not be explaining this rating. It was so good.[00:56:00] 

[00:56:01] Kelsey: I don't really know why, I don't know how, but I had so much fucking fun with this book. There. 

[00:56:08] Amanda: And sometimes that's, that's all, that's all you have to say, like, it doesn't necessarily make for a compelling conversation, but, but that's the end of our conversation now. 

[00:56:20] Kelsey: And this is the greatest way to. And our episode of pride.

[00:56:25] Amanda: Yes. Yep. So we survived. I survived. I feel like I deserve a metal conversation. Yeah. I feel like I deserve a metal or at least like, I don't know. I feel like you owe me a matcha latte. Oh my God. 

[00:56:36] Kelsey: Actually, that could be something really cool that we give each other medals ride. 

[00:56:41] Amanda: Like, 

[00:56:42] Kelsey: you know, 

[00:56:43] Amanda: littered 

[00:56:43] Kelsey: or quit it.

[00:56:45] Kelsey: Like I survived. That would 

[00:56:46] Amanda: be cute actually. And then we can like. Folks who are like fully on my side. Well, they'd have to read it though. Yeah. Yeah. I have to like have suffered through it first. Although again, a lot of folks will like read the book, they'll read the book before listening to episodes.

[00:56:59] Amanda: They're not going to know how [00:57:00] much I hated it. Maybe. Unless they're following us on socials. , but yeah, that's, that was all we had to say about bride y'all. So if you've read this book, if you were fully team Kelsey and like. Don't know why you loved it, but you loved us, then let us know. And if you were forced to read this book on pain of death by your book, bestie and hated it.

[00:57:21] Amanda: You can come chat with me. We can commiserate together 

[00:57:24] Kelsey: pod. We can 

[00:57:25] Amanda: recover together. We can like heal from this trauma together.

[00:57:35] Amanda: Thanks. So much guys for hanging out. , as a quick recap, you can find us on Instagram at lit vibes, only underscore podcast. You can watch this full video episode on YouTube at lit vibes, only podcast, or come say, Hey, check out our videos on that vibes, only podcast on tech talk. We would love that. And then of course, Last but certainly not least, don't forget to rate and review.

[00:57:58] Amanda: , wherever you're listening. And again, if you're [00:58:00] on Spotify, leave us a comment on this episode. Let us know whose side you're on. Let us know your thoughts on bride. Cause we'd love to hear them. 

[00:58:08] Kelsey: Yes. Thank you. We'll see you next Monday. 

[00:58:13] Amanda: Next Monday. Bye.